Parenthood is a tough job – it can be overwhelming with all the ups and downs. Raising toddlers is often the most challenging part of parenthood. This is the time when they get anxious and curious about anything. They can be a handful, but the toddler phase is crucial for their overall growth and development. When you see your toddler suddenly hitting another child, you feel mortified. There are many kids who display aggressive behaviors in response to specific triggers. Sometimes we think that our toddler is lashing out at someone because they feel scared or a little overwhelmed with their surroundings. Most of the time, you feel that such action calls for an “emergency”. It triggers your “fight” or “flight” response. All of a sudden, your child becomes the enemy and an urgent need to take action arises – punishing action. 

However, implementing punishments does not stop your toddler from hitting other kids. While it’s a natural reaction to yell or punish your child for such rude behavior, it is often the opposite of what works best. It can stop the behavior for a moment, but it is still an ineffective way to change the attitude in the long-term. In some cases, it can instill more fear and increase aggression, making your child hit more often.

To be able to effectively change the behavior of your toddler, it is essential to reward a positive attitude and teach them what to do. Rather than thinking that your child is behaving inappropriately, view the hitting behavior as a skill set deficit and address the feelings that are driving them to do such an action. Teach them to do something more proper instead.

Here are some simple and effective ways to help change your toddler’s hostile attitude into a prosocial one:

Remain calm and frame the behavior as to why your child is acting violently

There a number of reasons why a toddler would suddenly hit another person. This includes, but is not limited to:

• Fear – humans in nature respond to stress through the “fight” or “flight” response. While your child’s fear may be less intimidating and harmless, it could still be dangerous to them.
• Curiosity – they want to know what will happen if they start hurting other people.
• Difficulty in expressing themselves – most toddlers still lack the communication skills to fully express what they want, feel or need

It is important to understand where the hatred comes from. Address these emotions and acknowledge your child’s needs.

Acknowledge your child’s feelings and gently explain why you asked them to stop such behavior

As mentioned, there are various reasons why a child hits. While some kids only hit playfully, there are others who do it when they are frustrated or upset. Label these emotions and explain how normal it is to have those feelings. However, let them know that while it is okay to feel upset, it is not right to hit someone. Teach them empathy by telling them how hitting impacts another person.

Stop the behavior 

When hitting occurs, block your child’s hands from making contact with another child or remove them from the scene. Make sure that when you tell them to “stop”, you say it firmly and not with an angered voice.

Stay calm and be in control of the situation

Reacting with anger essentially models the negative behavior that needs to be eliminated. Hitting them back or yelling at them is basically telling them that it is acceptable to respond in such a manner when faced with upsetting situations.

Show and tell your child what “to do” instead

Use instances of hitting as a way to teach proper behavior. Tell them to use polite words such as “can I have it please” or “give me please” when requesting items from another child. Show them how a gentle touch is better than hurting someone. Teach them the correct words they can use to address what they feel. They can use “help me” to avoid frustration or “stop” to signify that an adult or another child is bothering them.

Give immediate praise for positive behavior

Always reward your child for modeling or showing proper behavior after the intervention. After your child has said the words you asked them to say or demonstrates calmness when upset, offer lots of praise. Be sincere and let them know how much you appreciate that they listen to you.

These tips will help you change your child’s behavior. However, if aggressiveness still continues, more teaching and necessary consequences may be needed. For more ways on how to help keep your toddler from hitting other children, visit Children Central.

 

Siblings fighting has been an issue parents face all the time. Let’s face it – sibling rivalry happens all the time. One moment you see your kids playing nicely together, the next in tears, shouting at each other or pulling each other’s hair. We all want our kids to get along really well. That is the reason why National Siblings Day was invented to celebrate their friendship and close relationship. 

There is no magic wand that can easily keep this from happening. While sibling rivalry is common, without the proper tools and strategies it can be difficult to manage. It takes a lot of commitment to consistency, a generous dose of authority and a touch of ingenuity. Here are 6 smart and simple ways on how to stop kids from fighting and help them learn valuable lessons in life, especially about the importance of family:

Lose the labels

In today’s society, categorizing people has become the norm. Labels categorize people or things. We want to know who’s smart, successful, talented, and athletic – and kids are judged based on these categories. 

Whether you intentionally or unintentionally put labels on your kids, competition and comparisons dramatically increase. When one child is referred to as the “athletic one”, the other may feel otherwise and would not even bother trying. When the other is wearing the “wild child” crown, the other may feel superior as the “easy-going” or “well-behaved” one.

If you start to remove the labels, you will be able to give the “wild child” the chance to do the right thing. We give the “not-so-athletic” one the opportunity to shine. 

The most important thing is to applaud positive attributes, like persistence, kindness, and teamwork. Siblings should be able to support each other, instead of competing or fighting for their parent’s approval.

Reassurance

When things seem unfair, always reassure your kids. There will be times when your kids feel that they are not getting a fair share of discipline, responsiveness, or attention from you. Always be ready with explanations regarding why decisions were made. Reassure your kids that you always make an effort to meet their individual needs.

Gently explain that, due to age, older and younger siblings will have different responsibilities. Set aside a one-on-one moment with each of your children. A 10-minute uninterrupted time will make a lot of difference.

Take it Away

Seeing two kids fighting can be annoying. One smart way to prevent this is to take away the thing that started the fight. Tell them that if they continue fighting, you will take it away and do not give it back until the next day or until they have settled their differences. Let them feel that you will never let anything come in-between the family relationship.

Quiet time

Let your kids spread out. Allow them to have a quiet space and time for themselves. If they share a room, make sure that they have an area where they or their belongings are protected from their sibling. They should also have some time with their friends without their sibling tagging along.

Listen attentively

When your kids are calm, take some alone time to talk to them. Listen to their feelings. Ask them what they like or don’t like about their sibling. Hear them out, especially when they start complaining. In the end, enforce all the positive things they see in each other. Kids like the attention and when they are heard, they feel more at ease. Listening intently to their emotions and what’s going on in their lives, especially their relationship with their sibling, is an important factor in putting an end to sibling rivalry.

Work it out

Often times, the best thing we can do to prevent sibling rivalry is to teach our kids to work things out. Provide them the tools and skills to resolve any conflict and let them handle the situation on their own. As a parent, you can tell them that if they don’t work out their issues, consequences will be given or things will be taken away from them.

Final Thoughts

Your kids are learning new strategies every day, so always be patient with them. Conflict resolution is considered to be a very advanced skill set – even adults struggle in this area. Rest assured that with the right strategies in place, you will be able to keep fighting among your kids to a minimum.

Contact us at Children Central to help to deal with your kids. We have experts who will be able to guide you and your child as you go through the process of development.

 

No parent looks forward to disciplining their children, no matter what their age. They may act like they don’t care or even ignore you. It’s also common for kids to change from an “I don’t care” attitude to getting upset when you tell them they’ve lost certain privileges and deny any wrongdoing. Either way, until your kids who ignore consequences accept the outcome of their behavior, it will be tense, which is not healthy for anyone.

Yes—Every child is different. However, there are several ways you can approach discipline for kids who ignore consequences.

Be Careful With Your Words

In the heat of anger, even the best parent can say things they don’t mean. Try to calm down before speaking to your child. Give yourself a timeout, take deep breaths, and prepare what words you will use. It’s also good to use “I” statements rather than “you” statements. When you start a sentence with, “You,” it puts the other person on defense. For example, “You are in trouble young man,” can quickly become an argument. Instead, try, “I need to speak with you about your bedroom.” Overall, using “I” statements can foster better communication between you and your children.

Don’t Make Emotional Consequences

It’s easy for parents to make emotional consequences in the heat of the moment. For example, you tell your daughter she’s lost her phone for the night, and she retorts back, “Fine, I don’t care.” Don’t respond with, “Fine, if you don’t care, let’s make it two days.” These are both emotional responses. Your daughter cares. However, adding another day won’t lead to, “I’m sorry, mom, dad, you’re right.” Most times, it will have the opposite effect and further the back-and-forth, tit-for-tat argument.

Don’t Continue to Argue

Children are skilled negotiators. They will argue with you over “what they deserve” or “don’t deserve” for hours, even days if you let them. Give them time to respond. There may be times when you can listen to their argument and make changes. For example, your son failed his math test. Before jumping to, “You’ve lost  . . . Because of . . .” ask him what happened. Start with, “John, I see you didn’t pass a big algebra test yesterday. What happened?” Here you’re opening the dialogue for a discussion, rather than an argument. Also, give John time to think about his response. You may find he’s struggling with a subject or something happened to throw him off during the test. Here, you can help him solve the problem, and there are no disciplinary actions. However, If he responds that he didn’t study—Yes, there is no negotiation. Instead, there’s a consequence.

Be Consistent With Consequences

Don’t change the rules. If necessary, write a list of rules and the punishment for breaking them and put them where your child can see them. Stay consistent and follow through with all disciplinary actions. If you don’t, you’re sending the message it’s okay to break some rules. The inconsistency is not only confusing for your child, but it also undermines your authority and tells them that the rules don’t apply equally.

Make sure the rules and consequences are age appropriate and reasonable. For example, teenagers that leave food and drinks in their room may lose the privilege of having those items in their room for a week.

Help Your Child Change Their Behavior

The easiest way to avoid punishment is to stop the behavior. When you’re both calm, talk to your child about what lead to the consequences and try to help them change. You don’t want to punish them again for the same issue, and they don’t want to lose privileges. For example, if they broke something when they were mad, help them express their anger in a way that’s healthy such as talking to someone, taking deep breaths, or walking away until their calmer.

No one gets a parenting handbook that will cover every child and situation when they become parents. It’s understandable that as they grow and you grow with them, rules will be broken, punishments are going to occur, and arguments over both will ensue. But, it doesn’t have to be a never-ending cycle. Parents can find the appropriate way to discipline kids who ignore consequences and achieve a happy outcome for everyone. For more details on how to handle your preschoolers, visit our website at https://childrencentral.net.

 

With school just around the corner, exposure to flu or colds is common. When there are many kids in the area, sickness can spread rapidly. There are secrets to completely protect kids from germs and bacteria. But as they say, prevention is always better than cure.

Here are some parenting tips on how to keep your child from getting sick at school.

How to keep your child from getting sick at school?

Get enough sleep

Sleep, as we all know, is very important. As we sleep, our bodies heal. Adults need at least 8 hours of sleep a day to become productive. Kids need 10 to 12 hours of sleep a day. This helps build their immunity and build resistance. Avoid screen time at least one hour before bedtime to help your child fall asleep faster. Also, having a good night’s rest will keep the body refreshed and produce more energy to fight off bacteria, germs, and infection.

Eat a well-balanced diet

Planning a healthy meal is important to ensure that your child is protected from any sickness. Kids should have well-balanced meals throughout the day. Pack some veggies, fruits, and lots of water for lunch. Yogurt is also a good probiotic that helps build the immune system.

Foods rich in omega-3 fatty acids like salmon or mackerel help produce proteins in the body. These proteins are needed to help clear out flu viruses from the body. Make sure that your child is getting enough vitamins and minerals.

Good washing habits

Teach your child to wash their hands often – before and after eating, after using the restroom, or playing with toys or on the playground. Carry hand sanitizer on the go. Clean hands are the biggest threats to germs and bacteria.

Cover mouth when sneezing or coughing

There are techniques on how to do this properly. Experts say that sneezing through the elbow will minimize the spreading of germs. Use a tissue or handkerchief when coughing.

Regular exercise

Constant movement helps boost the immune system. Pediatricians recommend that kids should at least move every hour. It is a known fact that active kids are healthier and less likely to get sick in school.

Personal space

When someone is sick in school, advise your child to give them space. There is no need to ignore them completely. Just avoid body contact and try not to use items that have been used by the sick child. This includes items such as books, markers, or toys. Sharing these things allow germs to spread quickly. Teachers could also provide school materials to the students so that there is no need to borrow.

Avoid sharing drinks or food

While sharing is a generous act, minimize drinking from the same bottle or container. Individually pack snacks or provide your child with their own drinking bottle. Inform them to use utensils as well when eating as this will less likely contaminate food with germs.

Sanitize, spray, and leave shoes outside

Regularly sanitize items or surfaces that your child uses often. Cellphones, desktops, or laptops must be cleaned daily to avoid spreading germs. Backpacks must also be washed, wiped and sprayed with disinfectant every two weeks.

Upon arriving home from school, leave shoes and backpacks by the door. These items could pick up germs from school buses, restrooms, or classrooms. Leaving shoes outside will keep germs and bacteria from spreading at home.

Keep hands off face, nose, and mouth

Inform your child to keep their hands off their mouth, nose, and face. These are the three major areas germs can easily access the body. Use a tissue if needed. If your child is into nail-biting, teach them to break the habit. Germs like to hide underneath the nails.

While these are just helpful tips to keep your child from getting sick at school, it is also important to have flu shots and regular visits to the pediatrician.

Lastly, it is also important to also check the school’s policy regarding sick kids and ensure that they are well implemented.

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Children Central is the preschool you can trust to ensure that your child’s well-being is prioritized. We understand the importance of cleanliness and a healthy body. Our teachers are equipped with proper training and skills to provide the needed care and attention your child deserves.

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